Thursday, 28 February 2013

Intelligent Coathangers - Now There's an Idea...

It's happened again! I opened the wardrobe, moved one coathanger aside and in a mood which can only be described as peevish, the wretched thing deposited my neatly ironed skirt onto the floor where it lay in a heap. I retrieved it only to find it had managed to twist itself into a mangled mess and, yes, you've guessed it, I have to iron the darned thing again!

Coathangers. I hate them. Stupid, good for nothing things. They're never the right size and not fit for purpose. And, to cap it all, they're more unco-operative and bad-tempered than a herd of camels!  

You hang a top on one of them, where it perches precariously for a second, lulling you into a false sense of security. Then, just when you've carefully placed the hanger in the wardrobe, it flings your garment onto the floor with a contemptuous shrug.

There has to be a better method of keeping your clothes hanging neatly. I mean, we sent men to the moon more than forty years ago, we have the internet, ipads, smartphones, even cars that can park themselves. So, why, oh, why, in this day and age do we still have to tolerate the useless coathanger?

I'm a simple soul. I don't ask much from a coathanger. All I want it to do is take care of whatever garment I drape around its shoulders. Is that too much to ask? Well, apparently, yes it is. So, what' s the solution to all those crumpled up, ruined clothes lying jumbled on the floors of the world's wardrobes?

Step forward - The Intelligent Coathanger!

  In my world, this little marvel would incorporate a senser which would detect the size, shape and configuration of the top, trousers, dress, jacket, coat or skirt and then adjust itself automatically to accommodate it.

Imagine a world where you could open your wardrobe and see all your clothes neatly and safely hanging, with no possibility of them falling onto the floor. What a way to start your day, knowing you wouldn't have a last minute scramble to iron your crushed trousers before work. Surely, that would bring a smile to your face. And imagine if everyone had such coathangers. The entire nation's faces would be wreathed in smiles - even first thing on a Monday morning! 

Come to think of it, Prime Minister David Cameron wants all  UK citizens to be happy, so perhaps the government could fund research into developing this marvellous new aid. Maybe Intelligent Coathangers could be available on prescription...

Peter Jones
Now all I need is someone to actually invent it. So, come on all you clever people, go to it. Why not take your prototype onto Dragons' Den? I'm sure Theo Paphitis would be interested - or maybe Peter Jones?

Meanwhile, back to the ironing...


  1. I indeed have...intelligent coathangers! Vicious, grabby things that you have to fight with to get your clothes off them again :-)

    1. Ah, Julia. You have my sympathies. You clearly have the gremlin variety. Very nasty. Sounds like they've become an infestation as well - time to call in the Exterminator...

  2. Then there are the intelligent clothes that refuse to get down off their hangers.